once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
