Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
