Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
