My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
