I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize