And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
