that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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