She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
