you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
