i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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