# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
