Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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