it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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