weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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