"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
