Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize