My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
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