just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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