Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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