Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
