She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
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