Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize