I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
