yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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