Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
