I smell stomach acid.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
