No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
