We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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