so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
