My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just sent this text using only my big toe
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
