you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
