i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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