Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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