what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
