chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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