How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
