What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
