the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
