i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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