i just had sex bonerless
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
