but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
