You're completely useless in the revolution.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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