not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize