Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
