I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
