I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
