there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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