I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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