Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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