so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
