i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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