and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize