chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize