So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
