Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I believe in your delicious
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
