Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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