Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Green mimosas i think yes
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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