I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
