dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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