Just took my morning after pill in the library
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
