Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize