I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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