I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Are my feet made of real feet?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
