The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize