When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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