Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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