so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
