Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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