I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
