A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
